Dancing with the Angels

Posted by on May 19, 2014

Hardest. Post. Ever.  But compelled to write it.  If you know me on Facebook, you know that my 19 year old niece died this week in a car accident.  We are stunned, bereft and anguished by her loss.

She, however, is dancing with the angels.

Ashtyn is the one who made me an aunt.  She was my parents first grandchild, my brother’s first baby.  She was special in that regard.

I got to spoil her when she was little.  I was showering yesterday and remembered the little leopard outfit I was just giddy to give her because it was going to complement her coloring and her curly red hair when she was so little.

We have the funniest stories to share about her growing up.  Her imaginary friend, Doolah.  The way she called my dad “Papa”.  Her little giggle.  How much she LOVED her dad and mom and brother.  Her Instagram account where she posted awesome selfies and so many of them smiling.

She just graduated high school in 2013.  She was attending college and living at home.  She was coaching for her high school track and field team.  She had a promise ring from a sweet young man.  She loved dogs and had a beautiful green butterfly tattoo on her right foot.

Ashtyn was not perfect, and I am not here to immortalize her as such.

But she was a star in this dark world.  Her facebook page is flooded with memories and tributes to her, even from kids who didn’t know her that well.  She sparkled and shined and touched everybody she came into contact with.

She loved Jesus and she knew Jesus – and so we have HOPE.

We are devastated and sad that we won’t see her engaged, married, mothering.  That we won’t see her graduate college and excel at whatever work she took on.  That she won’t be here to celebrate family holidays, and just everyday, with us.

I watched my brother, sister in law, and nephew crumple under the weight of the news that Ashtyn was no longer with us.

And bravely, they chose to give life to others through her death.

We know she lives on in eternity with a Father who had a plan for Ashtyn’s short 19 years.  While we suffer the loss of her presence, we know that SHE is indeed rejoicing in Heaven and feels no pain or sorrow.  While we stumble through the next few days, weeks, months, and years – she is in perfect communion with our God and one day we will see her again.

While He holds her hand, we are held in His arms.  Oh how we will miss our fiery Ginger girl.  What a blessing it was to know you.

 

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  1. Shelly
    May 19, 2014

    So sorry for your loss. Beautifully written post. Love you & am praying for you.

  2. Janet Henry
    May 19, 2014

    Beautiful Debbie…just beautiful. What a great tribute to Ashtyn. She was a very gorgeous and loving you don’t woman. Our hearts go out to all of you. Always in our prayers.

  3. Jane H
    May 19, 2014

    I am friends with both your mom and with you….I am so very sorry for you loss. You have been and will continue to be in my prayers.

  4. Marsha Baker
    May 19, 2014

    Sis – you did a mighty fine job of putting together this beautiful tribute for our special redhead. How blessed we are to have spent time with her…smiling and laughing…making memories. You said this so well. Thanks much. She lives on in our hearts…and in the bodies of 4 others. What special blessings…in so many ways! XO

  5. queenmommy
    May 24, 2014

    Thank you, Melissa. We are thankful for the great Grace of God which catches our tears in a bottle…

  6. queenmommy
    May 24, 2014

    Thank you, Shelly. We so appreciate the prayers of everyone – but especially feel the prayers of our good friends.

  7. queenmommy
    May 24, 2014

    Thank you, Janet. It is a really hard loss, even though I wasn’t able to spend as much time with her in the past years. She was so special and we feel her loss deeply. Thank you for your prayers and your comfort.

  8. queenmommy
    May 24, 2014

    Jane, thank you so much for praying for our family. It was terribly hard to say good-bye, but the harder thing is to go on living with her absence from our lives. We appreciate your friendship and prayers so much.

  9. queenmommy
    May 24, 2014

    Thanks, Mama. It will be really good to see Ashtyn again someday. I keep having this vision of her smiling in Heaven, helping set the table for our heavenly feast. I don’t know why, it’s just what I see…

  10. Rebecca
    May 25, 2014

    I am so very feeling in my heart for you all. I list a brother at 3 years old and my daughters list their daddy at. 3 and the other wasn’t born yet . As I know the pain I can’t even feel your loss. God has your angel in his arms. She is leaving with our King now. I pray for your hurting heart and someday you will see her again . Prayers and hugs

  11. queenmommy
    May 27, 2014

    Thank you so much. It is comforting to know she is with our King, and so hard to imagine life without her at the same time… Thank you for your comment.