Our girls, Curly & Georgie, are 4 and 2. Curly is in Christian PreK right now and she loves it. Both girls enjoy being read to and Curly & I have recently made a game of writing her letters or numbers, identifying them, trying to sound them out and more on the big Magna Doodles she got for Christmas.
So when I felt like God was saying that as part of the Mothering experience for me may include homeschooling, I laughed. (Yep, call me Sarah.)
Who, ME? God – do you know who you are talking to here? Me? Miss Love it for 3 weeks and then lose it somewhere in the house? Me – miss plant the garden (late) and not reap all the goodies. Me – miss fall in love with a product only to toss it out 6 weeks later.
Me – Miss Love The Thrill of the New Experience, Tolerate It Until Its Gone. Really, Me? Every single semester with Liberty University Online I’ve threatened to quit. Seriously.
So I’ve been investigating, asking questions, reading curriculum reviews, and talking to some homeschool moms. In fact, I’ll be meeting with some next week, and have some interviews prepared for blog posts to come. I know my nature – I know my inclination to jump in full swing and then lose steam…
So when my husband mentioned his concern that I would follow my pattern with homeschooling – well, it hurt my feelings. But only for a minute. He wasn’t being mean – it’s a valid concern and he did everything he could to be gentle about it.
But it’s true. I am that way.
While I do threaten to quit going to school every semester since I started my Bachelor’s – I haven’t yet. And I’m mapping out the next few semesters to see how and when I will complete my degree. Despite last semester’s difficulties with Algebra (which I will get to retake) and the miscarriage.
While it is sometimes challenging, I’ve been a pretty committed blogger for 4 years now – and love it. That may not seem like much to some people – but it’s a big deal for me. Blogging is hard work some times – and building a blog with good content challenges me – even if its not the most popular blog out there or if I don’t always do everything right all the time.
My husband’s comment hurt because I believed the worst about myself – for just a moment. He didn’t say it’s what WOULD happen, he was just concerned it might.
I laughed at the first notion of homeschooling BECAUSE I know myself and my tendencies. It’s not a small thing to take your child’s education into your own hands – when it can be so easy to relinquish it to “trained professionals” and just do my part when she’s home. Of course, I want the best education for each of my children, and of course I have questions and concerns about homeschooling myself.
But I do think God challenged me – whatever the outcome – because He wants me to EMBRACE my role as Mother to my children. It is as much about committing to raise them up in a way that honors God as they learn and grow – whether they continue with their Christian education outside the home – or not. And even if my husband leads us in a different direction, I will trust that He is following God – even if it’s a different path than I might have chosen.
That does not make him the bad guy – it makes him the Husband & Father he is called to be – and my role is to be the Wife & Mother I am called to be – whether my children get their education at home or in school.
Homeschooling is a challenge to consider – given my current “plate”. It’s a challenge to consider – given my Sanguine penchant for fun. It’s a challenge to consider – given the strong (my husband calls it “dominant”) natures of each of my very different girls. and their mother who is much the same.
But it’s not an impossible challenge given my faith in God, my husband’s feet planted in practical reality, and my love for my children.
And maybe God just wants me to trust Him more – wherever He leads us…
More to come…