Not surprising to some of you, I have been known to be a tad, er, “Dramatic” at times. For those of you who have known me long enough, you may remember back to my younger days when I sang in front of church and participated in church dramas – whether as part of the children’s choir or the larger Christmas programs at church.
I always loved it. I loved how telling some story could always point back to telling about the story of Jesus.
I loved the challenge of memorizing lines and learning new songs and rehearsals and hours of preparation. I did. I couldn’t wait for it all to come together. Even if I did forget my lines and made up a whole paragraph worth of words as the lead at the end of our Christmas program.
While watching Curly at her PreK program last week, I was so delighted to see her apparent affinity for drama. Okay – I already knew about the emotional drama – but to watch her just SHINE out of her little body those gifts and talents God has blessed her with – it made my heart sing for her.
Oh how I am praying for her to relish her talents and God-given abilities. Not for my sake – but for hers. For God’s.
After a rather dramatic “crash-and-burn” with algebra on Sunday, where it is apparent that for now I may not pass the class and will likely have to retake the class (hopefully at a local college/university), I emailed my professor and told her that I just felt BROKEN.
Over math. Over not understanding. Not “getting” the square roots of 32a-cubed divided by 4ab-squared.
While I may excel at some things – and RELISH and ENJOY those things – I do not feel that way about Math. It is a challenge and it has chipped away at much of my self-confidence.
And then I saw that word “broken” in my email and God softly spoke to my heart. Immediately.
Isn’t He cool?
Immediately He reminded me its not the end of the world – despite my tears and frustration and vast efforts to understand and do well – because I have other gifts He can use in spite of my lack of Math skills. And on the bigger scale of things – of life – of eternity – this is just a grain of sand in my shoe.
A piece of grit in my shell.
And someday it will be a pearl.
So while it is excruciating and difficult now, and while I will cry and have moments of despair, I am going to stand up and sing OUT LOUD because I will keep on going and I will enjoy the moments with my family.
The moments that WILL last forever in our memories – of family time together, singing Christmas songs, preparing to remember Jesus at Christmas.
The tree is going up – and I’m digging out my Nativity set for the girls to see. And Math will happen when it happens.
In the mean time, I’m making my Home Sing!!! We’re gonna bake cookies and finish decoration and sing Christmas songs together.
In a rather dramatic fashion, of course.