I’m linking up with Sheila Royoire’s To Love Honor and Vacuum meme – Wifey Wednesdays today!
I don’t write a whole lot about being a godly wife. I read a lot about being a godly wife – I pray about being a godly wife to Roy – but it’s an area I do not excel in. It’s hard for me to write about being honoring to our husbands, because it’s an area I struggle with.
I’m a take charge kind of gal – I was almost 34 when I got married – and I pretty well hung on to some ideas of independence that have been damaging to myself – and to my marriage.
- I want to run to the next corner, while Roy wants to stop and enjoy the scenery. sigh.
- I want to know what “our plan” for everything is, while Roy is more relaxed and wants to let things happen, weigh the options, consider our choices.
- I’m so very impatient and “tap-my-foot” about so many things – and Roy is able to just take a lot of things as they come.
Our differences aren’t the problem.
My attitude is my problem!
My attitude is like the rudder for our family. Not that I can control the family – but MY attitude certainly steers and guides our family – sets the tone. And when my attitude stinks – look out!
When my attitude is wrong – it is based on my OWN desires and wants – and I see things going in a direction OPPOSITE of my desires and wants – I pout, I sulk, I get mad, I holler. I cry, I whine, I get angry.
And when God finally gets my attention – in whatever manner is necessary – sometimes I can turn around and see a path of destruction as big as a hurricane.
It all starts with a focus on ME.
And then I have to repent and seek forgiveness. I have to find humility and put it on like a robe and go to my husband and my daughters and tell them I know I was wrong and apologize and pray that they forgive me.
God never ever – nowhere in Scripture – says to take care of MYSELF before anyone else. God never ever – NOWHERE in Scripture – says if I take care of myself then I can take care of my family better. He never says to put my feelings, my wants, my desires, or my needs first. (If you can find where He says this – feel free to share.)
Can I be honest?
I don’t like that.
Ultimately – I’m selfish. I want to be able to say “I’m tired – I need to put up my feet and y’all can just give me some ‘me time’ so I can do my thing.”
Nope. A wife is called to be a servant. To be in submission to authority – God and my husband. To be obedient (yep – I choke on that word, too) to her husband. But Scripture doesn’t mince words about this, whether I like it or not.
I want to spend money without having to answer to ANYBODY. I want to make decisions without deferring to Roy’s opinion, suggestion, or advice. I want to go and do and not really have to be entirely accountable.
“Besides – HE’S not perfect, so why should I have to listen to him?“
ACK! Did you hear that? Um – my husband does NOT have to be perfect first before I submit to his authority. I am instructed to obey God – by submitting myself to my husband.
I’m not posting Scriptures here, because I’m going to point you to a post that lays out the truth with all the Scriptures that pierced my heart and convicted me down to my toes. I could rewrite it – but that is plagiarism. I could condense it, but miss something really important.
Instead – I’ll just ask you to read A Christian Wife Should Honor and Revere Her Husband for yourself…
The Word of God is the Message here. It’s not opinion – and it’s certainly not POPULAR opinion. It is TRUTH – and it is HIS TRUTH that will set us free… It’s a Truth I need to embrace and live out…