Although I missed last week’s Bible study (due to Georgie’s’ sickness), I was determined to be there yesterday. Despite spending 3 hours Saturday night studying for my Math exam, and 3 hours again yesterday morning – preparing and taking the exam – I thought I had plenty of time. But Math – well, it breaks me down.
It was 8:00, and we were supposed to leave by 8:30 for church. I was still taking my exam. Roy got Curly ready – although there was much loud discussion upstairs (since it’s not normal for Daddy to get them rolling in the morning). I thought I’d prepared enough and gave myself enough room for the test – but I was wrong.
So at 8:20, I was done (I passed) – and ran upstairs to get dressed (no shower!) and get Georgie dressed. I got my hair brushed (but not my teeth!) and scrambled to get our things together and out the door to church. I could not miss another worship service and the Bible study is far too important.
CyndiMac is teaching our class – and I have to tell you – I ADORE this woman to pieces! She is ALL Southern, and she spoke at a spring event called Dressing for the King. I’ll share more about her later.
We are studying Nancy Leigh Demoss’ book Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free. She talked about the chaos that had been in her house this week, particularly yesterday, and how she really believed it was a spiritual battle. She wanted to spend the day studying and in prayer – preparing for the study with us – but many things kept her from it.
I could relate. I had that kind of week. Actually, the past 2 weeks have been filled with sick children, chaotic schedules, changing schedules, and general upheaval and disturbances. It wasn’t until Cyndi began talking about the spiritual battle that I had a “V8” moment and REALIZED what has been going on.
Now, I’m not saying that Satan made my girls sick or that it’s his fault I didn’t prepare enough time for my Math homework. I’m just saying that for the past 2 weeks, many pressures came to bear hard and by the end of things, I was rushing into my days without spending much time with the Lord – or in His Word.
It’s as if I painted a target on the front door of my home and said, HELLO, enemy – here’s an open door for ya… Welcome and have a seat, won’t you? SHEESH!
After a catastrophic afternoon Saturday – where I was the one having the screaming & yelling meltdown in the direction of my husband & girls – an evening & morning of MATH and stress – sitting in that class, showerless and feeling “messy” everything “clicked” for me.
I hadn’t even read the entire chapter of “homework” I was supposed to read, but I think there was purpose even in that. As CyndiMac was speaking, God began shouting into the storm of my life.
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
~ C.S. Lewis
When she read that to us – as I spent half the class wiping tears away – I could HEAR His voice shouting to me through my pain. See, I had been listening to her present the “lies” that women believe about God – and I was thinking – oh, how sad for people to believe that.
And it dawned on me just exactly one particular lie that I had not only believed but lived out for 20+ years:
My Lie: God is Not Enough.
Now, I’m going to stop here, because I have more to chew on, and some writing to get down. God spoke to me last night, and I wrote a post – not even understanding that He was preparing me for facing this disabling lie with His Truth in a way that would set me free. That post will come this week, but I need to share more about this particular lie and the truth that God has revealed to me already today – with more to come I’m sure.
So stay tuned and be ready… Here is Part 2.