This is a good post for us to apply to our home.
Our Dad, Roy, works long days, long hours and we miss him. And when he comes home there is often chaos – excitement at his arrival, some resentment that he’s gone so long (not that it’s his fault – and it ), and a major change in the flow of our day. It is not BAD that he comes home – no – we would much rather he BE home than not.
I think to be honest, we are all learning ot make DAD the final authority in our home. This is not easy. For any of us. I am used to being bossy. And running our home all day long puts me in that mode of Being #1. And when Roy comes home, I’m not always ready to relinquish that role. It takes an attitude adjustment on my part – and frankly, I’m not always willing to make it. THAT causes serious problems for all of us, and my sinful choice affects all of us. Seeing that, realizing it, and suffering from the consequences DEFINITELY motivate me to lose my bad attitude and LET GO when it is time. Hearing my husband pray and be thankful for my submissive heart is another motivator, too. As far as our children go, I think that Mom’s the Word is right on when she says:
We want to involve our husbands in the decision making. Sending the child to dad with their questions establishes not only dad’s authority, but also teaches the child that they can go to dad with anything. It teaches them that dad is interested in what they’re thinking, feeling, etc. The kids get used to going to mom all day when dad is at work, and they will often continue to go to mom even when dad is home.
Besides that, it gives mom – at least THIS mom – a bit of respite from the all-day responsibility, too. I get overwhelmed by that at times, and teaching the girls to go to dad brings a bit of of a breather to me.
Another aspect for me to continue to work on is referencing Dad throughout the day. With the girls, and with my own list of “to do’s” as I go through them. When I remember to ask Roy if he needs or wants me to do anything for him during the day, I feel more accountable to complete them. When I don’t, I need to answer to him. (Believe me, this goes against a lot of years of holding completely different views about marriage and roles of marriage and parenting – so this is an internal struggle with me.) I’m finding that it gives me a greater sense of PURPOSE in my day when I do this – when I make myself available to Roy for accomplishing things, and when I hold up my end of that – and the tasks of my day (my whole day) seem to hold more meaning in them.
One area I MUST yield my own way – is in the way Roy & I purpose to do things.
At heart, I’m a – Here’s my list of things to do, let’s go through them and get them done and move on to the next thing! kind of gal (for the most part); Roy is very thoughtful and intentional about his decisions (he takes his time) and mulls over them before doing anything. That would be why we married almost 13 years AFTER we met…
Can you sense my impatience here? (We laugh about the time it took to get married now – but it wasn’t funny “in the process”)
It causes more grief for us probably than just about anything else. I’m always chomping at the bit and he’s always enjoying the ride. There is opportunity for balance here and it is one area that I find myself going to the Lord about OFTEN.
I will be honest – the more that Roy & I have moved into proper alignment with the Lord and with one another, the HAPPIER our family is. The BETTER we handle difficult situations. The SMOOTHER our days move along. The CLOSER we are as a family.
There is rhyme and reason to God’s design for the family, and I am seeing it play out daily (sometimes hourly) in my own family. It is critical that I treat Roy with respect out of a desire to please God, so our girls can learn to respect him, too, and in the process have a willing, yielding heart to the Lord.
So, to make OUR home sing today:
1. I am starting a Marriage Bible Study with a group of women in one of my online network sites. Yay – Accountability!
2. We are going to greet daddy with HAPPINESS tonight if it kills me. Or if I have to kill someone. Whichever comes first. (just kidding – had to throw some humor in on a really difficult monday morning…)
3. I am going to do the things Roy asked me to do first – accomplish them and keep him first in our thoughts and focus for the day.
4. We girls are going to think of 3 reasons each why we love Daddy and tell him when he gets home.